9 ways to avoid getting shot by members of the Nigerian Police Force

1. Be obedient like a sheep

When Policemen stop you, I am begging you, STOP. Be humble and obedient like a sheep. If you’re driving and they say come down and open your booth, come down and open your booth. If they say bring your papers, give them all, including your birth certificate. Anything they ask you to do, do it. And always include yes sir/ma at the end of every thing you tell them. Be humble like a mumu and you won’t get shot.

2. Don’t look them in the eye

See ehn, the last thing you want to do is look a policeman in the eye – especially a drunk one. It might not get you shot immediately, but if they suspect you’re ‘looking them bad eye’ you may receive a couple hot slaps that will reset your brain and (depending on how you react after the hot slap) land you in a cramped cell where you may receive more slaps from the cell leaders.

Don’t look them in the eye.