Rex Tillerson, the United States Secretary of States has been fired by Donald Trump, less than 24 hours after he was in Nigeria, with president Muhammadu Buhari.
Ordinarily, we won’t really care about this, but the Nigerian connection to this sacking is so juicy that we had to investigate. We have, and these are the reasons we think Trump gave Rex the stick on Twitter.
Mike Pompeo, Director of the CIA, will become our new Secretary of State. He will do a fantastic job! Thank you to Rex Tillerson for his service! Gina Haspel will become the new Director of the CIA, and the first woman so chosen. Congratulations to all!
HANDS HANDS HANDSS!
It’s been about the hands all along. You know how they say the size of a man’s hand is directly proportional to the size of his John Thomas, and bedmatic skills? Yeah, that one. And we know the orange man definitely doesn’t have the larger hands. You don’t want to be the guy threatening the ego of the most powerful man on earth. Cue – fire the 2nd (usually) most powerful man in your administration on Twitter to show that even though your hands are small, you are still the boss. Fragile masculinity.
Tillerson called Trump a moron
Many Nigerians are probably wondering how Rex wasn’t fired immediately after this. But here’s how it happened. In October 2017, it was reported that Rex Tillerson called Trump a moron after a meeting at the Pentagon. During that meeting, Trump had called for an increase in America’s nuclear weapons stockpiles in contravention of international treaties. When Trump heard what Tillerson said, he challenged Tillerson to an IQ test. One that never happened. But the president was quoted as telling Forbes “I can tell you who is going to win,” during an interview later.
The many other clashes
Trump and Tillerson have clashed a couple times. Both men have big egos and this was very expected. Last year, Rex almost quit after Trump publicly berated Attorney General Jeff Sessions over his decision to step away from the Russia investigation. Trump disagreed with Tillerson’s policy approaches on whether the U.S. should mediate in the dispute between Qatar and Saudi Arabia. Last summer as tensions rose when Kim Jong Un and Trump traded insults, Tillerson said the U.S. wanted to “resolve this through talks,” rather than the military options the White House said were on the table. Just last week, Tillerson said that an upcoming meeting between Trump and Kim would focus on “talks” rather than “negotiations.” Yet the president appears to expect a deal with Kim on denuclearization. These many clashes made it obvious that Rex was going to get the axe soon.
Rex came to a shithole.
This is self-explanatory, really. Like, how dare T-Rex come to a place that Trump called a shithole? Flagrant disregard for POTUS feelings. Probably didn’t want someone who has been infected by shitholeness back in the White House. That’s why he refused to even see him, or fire him face to face.
The Buhari effect
Let us not talk about how President Buhari met the Nigerian economy, and how the Nigerian economy is now. Let’s just say if someone says “anything Buhari touches runs into trouble”, we will agree. That’s all.
Or is it the Kenyans?
Maybe the credit should be given to our Kenyan cousins. Afterall, that is where Rex Tillerson was when he had to run back to the USA to see the tweet that sacked him. Good for him. How dare he go to the country where Obama – Trump’s archenemy – is from?
Rex is friends with Big Vlad
Everybody knows this. Maybe Uncle Trump is trying to cut ties with his mentor from Russia, and Rex is just collateral damage. May you not be collateral damage in Jesus’ name. Amen
Rex has eyes on Melania
Well, what do I know? It’s probably all FAKE NEWS!
Curated in collaboration with @Timans_24