I was having a conversation with my friend yesterday about what a proper date looks like, what the perfect outfit is and if you can eat eba on a first date. The conversation was triggered by this tweet:
It’s no news that twitter influences most of my contents. I ‘live’ and work there. So, thanks guys (Twitter Fam) for always giving me contents. Lol.
Back to the conversation! I’m a huge fan of first impressions. I think it matters a lot. If you are going for an interview, you should look smart, have a good presentation, be confident and all of that. Meeting your partner’s family for the first time? you should look really nice and present yourself like someone that has ‘home training’. Going out to meet with new investors for your business? you should be organized and confident, amongst other things.
In all, I’m saying, your first impression matters at all times. All including first dates. Don’t be that babe or guy that would get turned down if they asked for a second date. Please dears.
So let’s talk about what you shouldn’t do when you finally score a date with your crush or that woman/man you have been ‘talking’ to.
What you shouldn’t do:
- Don’t be late
Whatever you do, do not be late. Be punctual. If you show up late, you’ll send a wrong signal. It could mean that you can not manage your time properly, you don’t care, you are inconsiderate or you are generally a latecomer and that is an absolute turn off.
If you are running late, communicate. Call or send a text. Don’t keep anyone waiting. Bin that idea of trying to make a statement or grand entrance. I think it was silly when Daenerys did it in Game of Thrones with her dragons when she went to Kings Landing. I think you shouldn’t do it too especially for a first date.
- Do not invite other people
Do not invite your friends to a first date. Save the group outings for later please. I’ve heard people say they do this for safety and all that. I understand and suggest that your friends should sit somewhere around the corner if they really need to be there.
- Do not force intimacy
First date is obviously the first time you are ‘meeting’ with this person and it’s not nice if you start touching them or pushing for intimacy/sex (especially if you are not on that wavelength yet). Yes, there’s no hard and fast rule to this thing. Some people have sex on the first date but please know your boundaries. Do not force intimacy. Do not touch your date inappropriately. Focus on the conversation and getting to know each other. It will be difficult to learn anything new if you’re only focused on getting some ‘action’.
- Do not lose your manners
It’s important to demonstrate good manners at all times including first dates. Please don’t eat like a hungry person. Something in my head just said “if I’m hungry nko?” Please resist the urge. Do not stay on your phone. It’s rude. Do not take food home for your family members. Please, I’m begging you.
- Do not look sloppy
If you show up looking disorganized, it says a lot of things about you. Pay attention to your appearance. If you can not put your outfit together on a first date, you can as well stay at home. Don’t go out looking like you are going to buy suya at your junction.
It was at this point that my friend asked me if he could wear a Kaftan. Of course you can wear a Kaftan but please don’t wear a short and T-shirt to a proper first date. I’ll cancel you. Keep that Mark Zuckerberg and his grey T-shirt’s argument to yourself. Thanks and God bless.
Wondering what you should do? The positive side of those things listed above. Be punctual, dress smartly, have good manners, go alone (at least to meet your date), be coordinated amongst other things.
Of course, you can eat eba. Been there, done that!