It is not news that Nigerians are some of the funniest people on earth. Nigerian Twitter is also one of the funniest places in the online space – and everyday, there is something to crack one up. But amongst these daily doses of comedy, there are some tweets that stand out, and have stood out since they were first posted. These hilarious and timeless posts were first curated on a thread by @Ekanem94, and even though some tweets have been added/removed, we still owe him our thanks for resurrecting them.
The keke I entered today jammed Range Rover Sport 2016 model… All of us ran away including the driver
On behalf of who? Did we send you? https://t.co/c5r6zZnJ3u
I remember once when a gala seller reached in through the car window to knock my head. Because I changed my mind about buying it.
When you show a Nigerian boy a picture from his wedding & he's about to lie that it's for a music video pic.twitter.com/T7fv9SHbxC
The billionaire, his son and the dog are very mad. Including you, CNN. All of you are mad. https://t.co/ZNPsrhgU13
Why I stopped watching Nigerian Movies?
A man had a heart attack in the hospital & the doctors shouted "Somebody call an ambulance"
Flavour out here looking like an Igbo Vampire.
Not sure if this is motivational or an Igbo wedding. pic.twitter.com/lCmBwyzx44
When you go visit the Kardashians pic.twitter.com/hNxK9Nzz59
We do. What do you think "your bum bum bigger than Bombay" is? https://t.co/My6ZFZTaiL
Nigerians looking at that other lane and wondering why there's traffic. pic.twitter.com/qXrybJQHmO
Who has fuel to be chasing Reekado Banks? https://t.co/aUbk7FfFZa
When I go to a birthday party and the cake doesn't reach me.
Do you think I came because you're growing older? pic.twitter.com/ufVYRwY2HI
4 years with 1 extra year in University. 2yrs for masters and someone is somewhere making mad money from Skiborobo skibo Oshey baddest. Smh
When bae calls me by my full name ?
Iniobong Utibeabasianamkpokeekemini Nkanyiseabasi Itunu Cecilia Solange Asuquo Ekanem Etim ???
How to avoid traffic in Lagos:
1) Drive only between 11pm and 4am
2) Buy helicopter
3) Become governor
4) Be a witch
5) Don't come to Lagos.
You will be minding ur own business and somebody will come and make u fall in love pic.twitter.com/IZeSvrReXn
When your girl texts you about the salad she made for dinner but you can see Jollof rice in your future. pic.twitter.com/kCV37Z2Wze
Me: I'm Nigerian
White interviewer: Ohhh
Me: plis dun do it
White interviewer: Yuno my father volunteered in Keny…
Me: oh mah god ?
Oh Hi Bunmi who refused to kiss me during command in JSS1. Now sending me candy crush requests on facebook. How the mighty have fallen.?
You pay a girl a compliment, some other girl responds- "don't you have a girlfriend"…oshey angel of remembrance, I forgot, don't be angry.
Your ugly bae cheats on you and you are just like "Edakun see somebody I was pitying o" pic.twitter.com/2IfL1fLTrG
The word of God cannot be broken. My phone screen is 35k. https://t.co/PTjI0M7FKj
When you're waiting for him to start squeezing brezz but he's still doing gentleman gentleman pic.twitter.com/inGW6wjUv6
I went to a wedding the other day. They didn't serve Jollof rice, so I took home the gift I bought. Since we were all being childish.
Nigerian driving instructor: "Oya Come, Come"
"Oya CUT YOUR HAND, CUT YOUR HAND"
"CUT IT FULL"
First time I heard the word Karaoke, I thought it meant raise your body up. Growing up in Ibadan was tough man pic.twitter.com/xLMwIJuWgi
Imagine watching the choc boys on a 3D Samsung TV.
You'll see HD ice prince.
You'l see HD Jesse Jags.
You'l see HDMI.
Ran my gen all night only to wake up to find out there's been light since last night. Don't talk to me about how painful childbirth is.
Don't let your girlfriend stop you from finding true love
How to be an African parent:
2 Blame everyone at home but yourself.
3 Never apologize to your kids.
5 Keep shouting.
The dentist? ?? @UduakIsBae: My president has a gap tooth, I have a gap tooth, see where I'm going with this? ????"
My most embarrassing moment has to be when I fainted at Ojuelegba and the woman that poured water on me kept asking 'Dee you do aboshan?' ?
Was gisting with the cab driver when he mentioned he's recovering from epilepsy. So right now I'm on 3rd Mainland bridge, trekking to work.
Nigerians so superstitious. Cabs will refuse to stop just cos you're wearing all black, and it's night, and you're carrying a cutlass…
In Lagos, driving a car is war. And in war, you don't tell your enemy your next move. That's why most people don't use indicators.
It’s crazy that you can be everything to someone then she turn around and break up with you because you impregnated her sister by accident.
I don't think I can ever meet Dangote and have a 5 minute chat with him without the words "Sir, hep me" slipping out my mouth.
I can't stand these grown men thinking they're too young for marriage, smh Adam was only 7 days old when he married Eve
When you ask how much something is and it's expensive you pretend you're interested even though spiritually you're already on the bus home
If GEJ wins, I'm leaving the country. If Buhari wins, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political tweet, I just want to travel.
I hope those Nigerians in customer service know that when their prayers reach Heaven, they also meet attendants gisting and watching Afmag.
300k asoebi means I've bought shares in your marriage. I'll be expecting quarterly reports.
And Peugeot didn't hire you? “@sugabelly: My JAMB score was 406.”
I just saw my ex in traffic. She was driving a Ford Edge. I was in a Danfo, buying Gala.
No I'm not crying. Sand entered my eye.
White people commit suicide a lot because depressing music. You can't be thinking of killing yourself while youre dancing shoki
Niggas can figure out that Podolski lacks instinctive movement in and around the box but don't know why you're upset when they don't call
RIP Aunty… the evil you have done in this world is enough…
When you buy pizza and your siblings start acting like y'all are related pic.twitter.com/SeB26mnOgy
You go fear fear https://t.co/9miWF9eagC
When a broke n ugly Yoruba boy tweets that he's a Yoruba demon pic.twitter.com/9I4MtHttOv