Chief Curator
It is not news that Nigerians are some of the funniest people on earth. Nigerian Twitter is also one of the funniest places in the online space – and everyday, there is something to crack one up. But amongst these daily doses of comedy, there are some tweets that stand out, and have stood out since they were first posted. These hilarious and timeless posts were first curated on a thread by @Ekanem94, and even though some tweets have been added/removed, we still owe him our thanks for resurrecting them.
Enjoy, share.
https://twitter.com/TobyKelechi/status/799954165388587009
On behalf of who? Did we send you? https://t.co/c5r6zZnJ3u
— The Goddess ✨ (@Brendalishus) November 9, 2016
I remember once when a gala seller reached in through the car window to knock my head. Because I changed my mind about buying it.
— Sisi Èkó (@adebbi) November 3, 2016
When you show a Nigerian boy a picture from his wedding & he's about to lie that it's for a music video pic.twitter.com/T7fv9SHbxC
— Ijebu Firework (@VvadaA_) October 21, 2016
The billionaire, his son and the dog are very mad. Including you, CNN. All of you are mad. https://t.co/ZNPsrhgU13
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) September 20, 2016
https://twitter.com/PuleXR/status/772889144062275584
Flavour out here looking like an Igbo Vampire.
Drakwulapic.twitter.com/UDRqtD3CeT
— Bambi, Oh Cheops (@mhagayr) August 8, 2016
Not sure if this is motivational or an Igbo wedding. pic.twitter.com/lCmBwyzx44
— niggativity. (@Dotun__A) August 8, 2016
https://twitter.com/IBRAHEEYM/status/751831152315490304
We do. What do you think "your bum bum bigger than Bombay" is? https://t.co/My6ZFZTaiL
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) July 9, 2016
Nigerians looking at that other lane and wondering why there's traffic. pic.twitter.com/qXrybJQHmO
— (II+) (@ACMilandrew) June 22, 2016
https://twitter.com/TinubuTweets/status/723231044007243776
https://twitter.com/PRINCE_VIII/status/704048196167868416
4 years with 1 extra year in University. 2yrs for masters and someone is somewhere making mad money from Skiborobo skibo Oshey baddest. Smh
— ibe (@maziibe_) February 4, 2016
https://twitter.com/Iam_UT/status/686870858435051520
How to avoid traffic in Lagos:
1) Drive only between 11pm and 4am
2) Buy helicopter
3) Become governor
4) Be a witch
5) Don't come to Lagos.— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) July 25, 2014
You will be minding ur own business and somebody will come and make u fall in love pic.twitter.com/IZeSvrReXn
— Eche Enziga 🅰️🌶 (@Echecrates) December 17, 2015
https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/674603992371085312
Me: I'm Nigerian
White interviewer: Ohhh
Me: plis dun do it
White interviewer: Yuno my father volunteered in Keny…
Me: oh mah god 😪— mad skillz. (@_gflex) October 10, 2015
Oh Hi Bunmi who refused to kiss me during command in JSS1. Now sending me candy crush requests on facebook. How the mighty have fallen.😌
— Leo Dasilva (@SirLeoBDasilva) September 22, 2015
https://twitter.com/THE_Olu/status/643062409679101953
Your ugly bae cheats on you and you are just like "Edakun see somebody I was pitying o" pic.twitter.com/2IfL1fLTrG
— The Goddess ✨ (@Brendalishus) September 7, 2015
The word of God cannot be broken. My phone screen is 35k. https://t.co/PTjI0M7FKj
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) December 6, 2015
When you're waiting for him to start squeezing brezz but he's still doing gentleman gentleman pic.twitter.com/inGW6wjUv6
— BabyOku (@NessaaChiomaa) September 5, 2015
https://twitter.com/TheNaijaDream/status/630667522434580480
Nigerian driving instructor: "Oya Come, Come"
"Oya CUT YOUR HAND, CUT YOUR HAND"
"CUT IT FULL"
Me: pic.twitter.com/eur8ITjpKL— niggativity. (@Dotun__A) July 17, 2015
First time I heard the word Karaoke, I thought it meant raise your body up. Growing up in Ibadan was tough man pic.twitter.com/xLMwIJuWgi
— o1a (@aistheGreat) July 5, 2015
Imagine watching the choc boys on a 3D Samsung TV.
You'll see HD ice prince.
You'l see HD Jesse Jags.
You'l see HDMI.
— Puntius Pilate (@Quickiepaedia) June 14, 2015
https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/608890142762393600
Don't let your girlfriend stop you from finding true love
— Uba (@UbaSocrates) April 10, 2015
https://twitter.com/Ebuka__N/status/584617934800191488
The dentist? 😔😔 @UduakIsBae: My president has a gap tooth, I have a gap tooth, see where I'm going with this? 😂😂😂😂"
— blank (@teejay0071) March 31, 2015
My most embarrassing moment has to be when I fainted at Ojuelegba and the woman that poured water on me kept asking 'Dee you do aboshan?' 😢
— Sweet Ope (@SwitOpe) March 5, 2015
Was gisting with the cab driver when he mentioned he's recovering from epilepsy. So right now I'm on 3rd Mainland bridge, trekking to work.
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) February 23, 2015
Nigerians so superstitious. Cabs will refuse to stop just cos you're wearing all black, and it's night, and you're carrying a cutlass…
— weird fish (@Sick_Sage) February 3, 2015
In Lagos, driving a car is war. And in war, you don't tell your enemy your next move. That's why most people don't use indicators.
— Ken Ken (@theonlyfbk) February 2, 2015
#NigeriansAtHogwarts When you find out you've been posted to Azkaban for NYSC pic.twitter.com/zSv21WO99T
— A Jiggy Jagger (@iamHighDee) August 1, 2015
https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/558282479376035840
https://twitter.com/Punthief/status/555110974890717185
I can't stand these grown men thinking they're too young for marriage, smh Adam was only 7 days old when he married Eve
— Old Miami (@flyChy) January 7, 2015
https://twitter.com/FLOTUK/status/547839586861588480
If GEJ wins, I'm leaving the country. If Buhari wins, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political tweet, I just want to travel.
— O T O ™ (@OtoEbe) December 13, 2014
I hope those Nigerians in customer service know that when their prayers reach Heaven, they also meet attendants gisting and watching Afmag.
— Wale Lawal (@WalleLawal) December 10, 2014
300k asoebi means I've bought shares in your marriage. I'll be expecting quarterly reports.
— Ndigbo Symbol (@TheBlackHermit) October 24, 2014
https://twitter.com/Meziem/status/520709833981718529
I just saw my ex in traffic. She was driving a Ford Edge. I was in a Danfo, buying Gala.
No I'm not crying. Sand entered my eye.
— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) September 3, 2014
https://twitter.com/couchpotatoesNG/status/505809717399392257
https://twitter.com/QueenCleo_92/status/456158830582190083
RIP Aunty… the evil you have done in this world is enough…
— Mr Shang (@KolaShangOne) November 17, 2012
#WhenAliensMeetNigerians
Alien: I have come to abduct yo
Yoruba woman: You can't even greet
Alien: Sorry ma pic.twitter.com/dSi0iJ3gcR— trips anonymous (@tharukky) August 19, 2015
https://twitter.com/TheDejiBalogun/status/847835700212977664
https://twitter.com/IAmTheAyology/status/838889772148015104
https://twitter.com/Yiinny_/status/832335125564235776
