Compilation of some of the funniest ever Tweets on Nigerian Twitter • Lists.ng

It is not news that Nigerians are some of the funniest people on earth. Nigerian Twitter is also one of the funniest places in the online space – and everyday, there is something to crack one up. But amongst these daily doses of comedy, there are some tweets that stand out, and have stood out since they were first posted. These hilarious and timeless posts were first curated on a thread by @Ekanem94, and even though some tweets have been added/removed, we still owe him our thanks for resurrecting them.

Enjoy, share.

The keke I entered today jammed Range Rover Sport 2016 model… All of us ran away including the driver

— Toby (@TobyKelechi) November 19, 2016

On behalf of who? Did we send you? https://t.co/c5r6zZnJ3u

— The Goddess ✨ (@Brendalishus) November 9, 2016

I remember once when a gala seller reached in through the car window to knock my head. Because I changed my mind about buying it.

— Sisi Èkó (@Adebbi) November 3, 2016

When you show a Nigerian boy a picture from his wedding & he's about to lie that it's for a music video pic.twitter.com/T7fv9SHbxC

— Unruly Lo (@Vvadaaa) October 21, 2016

The billionaire, his son and the dog are very mad. Including you, CNN. All of you are mad. https://t.co/ZNPsrhgU13

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) September 20, 2016

Why I stopped watching Nigerian Movies?

A man had a heart attack in the hospital & the doctors shouted "Somebody call an ambulance"

— Pule and 6 Others (@PuleXR) September 5, 2016

Flavour out here looking like an Igbo Vampire.

Drakwulapic.twitter.com/UDRqtD3CeT

— K.O (@Mhagayr) August 8, 2016

Not sure if this is motivational or an Igbo wedding. pic.twitter.com/lCmBwyzx44

— Senpai. (@Dotun__A) August 8, 2016

When you go visit the Kardashians pic.twitter.com/hNxK9Nzz59

— Leftie. (@IBRAHEEYM) July 9, 2016

We do. What do you think "your bum bum bigger than Bombay" is? https://t.co/My6ZFZTaiL

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) July 9, 2016

Nigerians looking at that other lane and wondering why there's traffic. pic.twitter.com/qXrybJQHmO

— Tome (@ACMilandrew) June 22, 2016

Who has fuel to be chasing Reekado Banks? https://t.co/aUbk7FfFZa

— SET (@TinubuTweets) April 21, 2016

When I go to a birthday party and the cake doesn't reach me.

Do you think I came because you're growing older? pic.twitter.com/ufVYRwY2HI

— KVNG (@PRINCE_VIII) February 28, 2016

4 years with 1 extra year in University. 2yrs for masters and someone is somewhere making mad money from Skiborobo skibo Oshey baddest. Smh

— Mazi Ibe (@I_pissVodka) February 4, 2016

When bae calls me by my full name 😍
Iniobong Utibeabasianamkpokeekemini Nkanyiseabasi Itunu Cecilia Solange Asuquo Ekanem Etim 😍😍😍

— Morticia Addams (@Iam_UT) January 12, 2016

How to avoid traffic in Lagos:
1) Drive only between 11pm and 4am
2) Buy helicopter
3) Become governor
4) Be a witch
5) Don't come to Lagos.

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) July 25, 2014

You will be minding ur own business and somebody will come and make u fall in love pic.twitter.com/IZeSvrReXn

— Nigerian God (@Echecrates) December 17, 2015

When your girl texts you about the salad she made for dinner but you can see Jollof rice in your future. pic.twitter.com/kCV37Z2Wze

— The Baby Maker (@iamsupervillain) December 9, 2015

Me: I'm Nigerian
White interviewer: Ohhh
Me: plis dun do it
White interviewer: Yuno my father volunteered in Keny…
Me: oh mah god 😪

— G of the Fire Nation (@geraldOC_) October 10, 2015

Oh Hi Bunmi who refused to kiss me during command in JSS1. Now sending me candy crush requests on facebook. How the mighty have fallen.😌

— Leo B. Dasilva (@SirLeoBDasilva) September 22, 2015

You pay a girl a compliment, some other girl responds- "don't you have a girlfriend"…oshey angel of remembrance, I forgot, don't be angry.

— The O. (@THE_Olu) September 13, 2015

Your ugly bae cheats on you and you are just like "Edakun see somebody I was pitying o" pic.twitter.com/2IfL1fLTrG

— The Goddess ✨ (@Brendalishus) September 7, 2015

The word of God cannot be broken. My phone screen is 35k. https://t.co/PTjI0M7FKj

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) December 6, 2015

When you're waiting for him to start squeezing brezz but he's still doing gentleman gentleman pic.twitter.com/inGW6wjUv6

— BabyOku (@NessaaChiomaa) September 5, 2015

I went to a wedding the other day. They didn't serve Jollof rice, so I took home the gift I bought. Since we were all being childish.

— Seriki (@TheNaijaDream) August 10, 2015

Nigerian driving instructor: "Oya Come, Come"
"Oya CUT YOUR HAND, CUT YOUR HAND"
"CUT IT FULL"
Me: pic.twitter.com/eur8ITjpKL

— Senpai. (@Dotun__A) July 17, 2015

First time I heard the word Karaoke, I thought it meant raise your body up. Growing up in Ibadan was tough man pic.twitter.com/xLMwIJuWgi

— f'egusi se'la alhaji (@BabaOloriokoBB) July 5, 2015

Imagine watching the choc boys on a 3D Samsung TV.

You'll see HD ice prince.

You'l see HD Jesse Jags.

You'l see HDMI.

— Uchiha Shaynaenay (@TheFunnycator) June 14, 2015

Ran my gen all night only to wake up to find out there's been light since last night. Don't talk to me about how painful childbirth is.

— The Baby Maker (@iamsupervillain) June 11, 2015

Don't let your girlfriend stop you from finding true love

— Khan (@UbaSocrates) April 10, 2015

How to be an African parent:

1 Shout.

2 Blame everyone at home but yourself.

3 Never apologize to your kids.

4 Shout.

5 Keep shouting.

— É (@Ebuka__N) April 5, 2015

The dentist? 😔😔 @UduakIsBae: My president has a gap tooth, I have a gap tooth, see where I'm going with this? 😂😂😂😂"

— TOM! TOM! (@teejay0071) March 31, 2015

My most embarrassing moment has to be when I fainted at Ojuelegba and the woman that poured water on me kept asking 'Dee you do aboshan?' 😢

— Angel 💫 (@Switope) March 5, 2015

Was gisting with the cab driver when he mentioned he's recovering from epilepsy. So right now I'm on 3rd Mainland bridge, trekking to work.

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) February 23, 2015

Nigerians so superstitious. Cabs will refuse to stop just cos you're wearing all black, and it's night, and you're carrying a cutlass…

— overwoke (@Sick_Sage) February 3, 2015

In Lagos, driving a car is war. And in war, you don't tell your enemy your next move. That's why most people don't use indicators.

— Ken Ken (@theonlyfbk) February 2, 2015

#NigeriansAtHogwarts When you find out you've been posted to Azkaban for NYSC pic.twitter.com/zSv21WO99T

— Hermés Trismegistus (@iamHighDee) August 1, 2015

It’s crazy that you can be everything to someone then she turn around and break up with you because you impregnated her sister by accident.

— The Baby Maker (@iamsupervillain) January 22, 2015

I don't think I can ever meet Dangote and have a 5 minute chat with him without the words "Sir, hep me" slipping out my mouth.

— Shamsidin Fockanisah (@Punthief) January 13, 2015

I can't stand these grown men thinking they're too young for marriage, smh Adam was only 7 days old when he married Eve

— King Chy (@flyChy) January 7, 2015

When you ask how much something is and it's expensive you pretend you're interested even though spiritually you're already on the bus home

— Stef (@FLOTUK) December 24, 2014

If GEJ wins, I'm leaving the country. If Buhari wins, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political tweet, I just want to travel.

— Otobong (@OtoEbe) December 13, 2014

I hope those Nigerians in customer service know that when their prayers reach Heaven, they also meet attendants gisting and watching Afmag.

— Wale Lawal (@WalleLawal) December 10, 2014

300k asoebi means I've bought shares in your marriage. I'll be expecting quarterly reports.

— Prof. Flitwick (@TheBlackHermit) October 24, 2014

And Peugeot didn't hire you? “@sugabelly: My JAMB score was 406.”

— Meme (@Meziem) October 10, 2014

I just saw my ex in traffic. She was driving a Ford Edge. I was in a Danfo, buying Gala.

No I'm not crying. Sand entered my eye.

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) September 3, 2014

White people commit suicide a lot because depressing music. You can't be thinking of killing yourself while youre dancing shoki

— Couch Potatoes (@couchpotatoesNG) August 30, 2014

Niggas can figure out that Podolski lacks instinctive movement in and around the box but don't know why you're upset when they don't call

— Aunty Activism (@QueenCleo_92) April 15, 2014

RIP Aunty… the evil you have done in this world is enough…

— Issa Shang. (@KolaShangOne) November 17, 2012

#WhenAliensMeetNigerians
Alien: I have come to abduct yo
Yoruba woman: You can't even greet
Alien: Sorry ma pic.twitter.com/dSi0iJ3gcR

— rukky carter (@tharukky) August 19, 2015